10 Best Tweeps of 2011

Yes, I know I haven’t updated this blog in ages… The good news is that I’ve been busy working out plans to make 2012 the best year ever and that as a result it’s only a matter of time before I start rolling out some new blog(s) which are more focused in their scope. In the meantime, this will serve as my catch-all blog for rants and other randomly wonderful things.

2011 was a big year for me. I changed jobs, bought a house and became a certified Twitter addict. To celebrate and to give thanks, I wanted to share with you my list of favorite Twitterers from the past 12 months.

In no particular order:

@anniemal In my mind, she is the Queen of Twitter (and probably Philadelphia). Her tweets on PR, Marketing and Social Media are frequently interrupted with rants on popular culture, the little things in life and other random nonsense. She’s awesome and if you’re not already following her, you should be.

@petershankman The customer service and social media guru (not to mention recently married man) provided one of Twitter’s happier PR moments this year by jokingly tweeting his wish for a steak restaurant to meet him with food when he departed his flight – only for the restaurant to follow through.

@brianofshope I would never have connected with Brian were it not for the wonderful medium of Twitter. He’s a stay at home dad who works in social media and is constantly tweeting links to interesting sites. Basically, he’s a really down-to-earth and interesting bloke.

@JeromeTaylor Even though I favor The Guardian over The Independent for my fix of UK and worldwide news, this reporter has been a solid fixture in my Twitter feed this year. From the London riots to the Arab Spring to the Levinson Inquiry, he’s been an insightful (and frequently on-the-ground) source.

@SarahKSilverman The foul-mouthed comedienne has posted some absolutely outrageous tweets this year which even though I have found them to be completely hilarious I still feared retweeting due to their sheer offensiveness.

@Katelove  One of the few people I follow on Twitter that I actually know in real life (although it’s been several years…) This year alone she has done a national theatre tour and sold a lizard to a Kardashian. I will continue to live vicariously through you in 2012.

@DCComics Yes, within the past few months I have become a born-again comic book geek. I haven’t read a monthly comic in years, but with the New 52 relaunch I’ve found a new weekly obsession. The fact that DC teases me with upcoming stuff on a daily basis has made the whole experience all the more joyful.

@IncMagazine Probably the best source of articles of interest to anyone who has to work for a living – including entrepreneurs. There’s also enough relevent tech news in there to get my fix after TechCrunch imploded earlier in the year.

@chrisvognar I’ve been following Chris ever since I heard him speak at Austin Film Festival in 2010. He’s got good taste, which makes it forgivable when he regularly teases us with his hard life as a movie critic. Yeah right.

@rustyrockets Russell Brand has shown himself to be a surprisingly articulate person on all kinds of major issues this year which is why I still follow him despite the repetitive pimping of his live shows and movies. He’s also a Brit who now lives in the US, so we have that in common (apart from the millions of dollars, obviously).

How To Fix Occupy Wall Street

Let me say up front, that I generally support the Occupy Wall Street protestors and the many hundreds of satellite protests which are a part of the Occupy movement around the globe. However, for all the sacrifices of everyone involved, it seems obvious to me that these protests are going to accomplish virtually nothing.

Mainstream media is largely to blame for the fact that the Occupy Movement has had and will have very little result. The media is controlled by the big corporations which are owned by the 1% that the protestors are rising up against. The only stories which gain any sort of exposure are those of protestors either being arrested or attacked by police. Neither does any service to the cause. Even the images of police brutality have little benefit as it takes the story on a completely different tangent, separate from the whole point of what the protests are about.

Ironically, when getting the message out seems to be the largest hurdle facing the Occupy protestors, the movement has adopted a philosophy which is entirely counter-productive: they decide everything as a community, meaning they are essentially leaderless. This is a mistake for a number of reasons. Portraying themselves simply as the “huddled masses” is a big PR problem. At best, it casts the protesters as a bunch of dirty hippies who want to live the life of a late Sixties commune. At worst, it colors the protestors with a subtle tint of communism, which we all know is no way to win over American voters. But the biggest problem with this community-oriented approach is that there is no figurehead – and that’s something that is far more valuable that any of these protesters seem to realize.

Mainstream media is fairly simpleminded. A leader resonates far more than an indistinct collective. Think of every sports movie you’ve ever seen. They’re nearly always about one particular individual – even if he is a part of a team. It might not be the best analogy, but the point is you always need a protagonist. People power is vital, of course, but the civil rights movement had iconic figures too. Of course Martin Luther King and Malcolm X aren’t solely responsible for anything, but at the same time they were indispensable.

The lack of a leader – or even leaders – is not the Occupy movement’s only big problem, although this secondary issue could be seen as a direct result of the lack of leadership: there is no common message. This means that the public is confused about exactly what the protesters seek to say. What is it that they want to change? Virtually every brief interview with a protestor on the TV or radio inevitably focuses on a different argument. Some protestors want to abolish the Federal Reserve. Some want to see an end to capitalism. Some want more Government regulation. Some want less Government regulation. The point is, that while it’s great that the movement is made up of people from across the social and political spectrum, there’s no defined solution to the problems of financial imbalance which has brought about the global economic meltdown which is only going to become significantly worse throughout the next century.

The movement needs some key figures to emerge as leaders and spokespeople. The movement also needs to more clearly define their central message: What specifically do you seek to change? What changes do you propose in order to restore economic equality? All we’re hearing right now is useless rhetoric.

I personally feel that the people need a greater control over their government, which today seems wholly owned by the multinational corporations. There is a way for Capitalism and Socialism to work side-by-side. Entrepreneurism should be strongly encouraged, but at the same time it’s time we realized that self-regulation does not work. The free market should encourage competition which ultimately leads to a better consumer experience. As it is today, there’s a handful of fat cats who manipulate it to benefit them only. Government regulation actually helps the free market thrive. It’s self-regulation which is the problem.

The other thing we need to remember is that we are all part of the same country, we are all part of the same society. We need to look out for each other to an extent. This doesn’t mean a “redistribution of wealth.” What it does mean is that, yes, taxes are necessary and that everybody within our society does, in fact, matter. Everybody contributes something. Think of it like an economic version of the food chain. If there are no aphids, there would ultimately be no eagles.

Of course, that means that everybody has a responsibility to contribute something. Which brings me to yet another big PR problem the Occupy protesters have created for themselves… The longest occupation has been going on for – what – two months at this point? We’ve all seen the reactions, usually variations on “Don’t you people have jobs?” While I think this line of questioning is missing the point entirely, at the same time I have come to understand it. The public is becoming increasingly tired with a movement which is saying nothing, is doing nothing and is accomplishing nothing.

It’s not working. You need to regroup and figure out how you’re going to make this work. You need a leader. You need a clear message. You need a way to figure out how you get people to understand what it is you’re all about. If you do it in the right way, people will listen and they will realize that they’re part of the 99% and that it’s their best interest you want to benefit.

Here’s an idea… There’s an election coming up and right now it looks like there’s nothing but lame ducks on both sides. I suspect that should a new, non-party affiliated candidate come along, who is able to get the people behind them and articulate the problems and the proposed solutions; well, they might do extraordinary well.

What I (think) the Occupy movement stands for is incredibly important. But it’s time those involved acknowledged that it’s accomplishing nothing fast. Given the bad news about the Eurozone’s collapse over the past week, and the increasingly pessimistic projections for the futures of everyone living today and their unborn children, a drastic change does need to be made. It’s time to make some radical changes.

Once upon a time it was possible for a family of four to survive on one income. On that one income the family was able to keep up on a mortgage, put gas in the car, eat good, buy the kids what they needed… The American Dream was possible. Greed and corruption have ruined that.

We need some real change.

My 10 Favorite Movies

As the guy who’s into movies and even studied it at university, it’s inevitable that favorite films is something of an icebreaking topic of conversation with me. Especially since I moved to the US and find myself completely out of my depth when it comes to sports talk. If only I could converse with the Texans I find myself surrounded by on topics like Tevez refusing to play, the England cricket team’s uncharacteristically good form or good old Wales making it to the semi finals of the Rugby World Cup. Alas! Until I become a pro at the nuances of discussing the Cowboys, Rangers and Mavericks, it seems that cinema will be our common ground of conversation.

I’ve been asked many times what is my favorite movie. I used to answer Jurassic Park. Although I’m quite sure I’d seen other films at the cinema prior to Jurassic Park, that’s the first experience which I remember quite vividly. So it was largely for sentimental reasons that it quickly became my stock answer. After all, how does one truly pick their favorite all time movie? Personally, I think it’s impossible.

For some reason the topic has been stuck on my mind for the past week or so. I think I’ve come up with a list of ten favorite movies – at least for the moment. A couple of disclaimers: Firstly, I reserve to change this list at any time. Films drop in and out of favor all the time. However, having given this more thought than is strictly necessary, I think I have a fairly solid list. Secondly, please remember that this is a list of favorite films, not necessarily those films I consider the “best” films. So you’ll find no Godard, no Lynch, no Kubrick and no Malick. And you’ll find the films are almost exclusively from the past fifteen years or so. Sorry. Deal with it.

And so, without further ado (and in no particular order)…

Jurassic Park (Dir. Steven Spielberg, 1993)
This image encapsulates everything I want to say about this film. The scene where the visitors to the island first see the real life dinosaurs is awesome. You can see it on the actor’s faces and you feel the wonder with them. When I first saw this movie in the cinema with my dad I was 10 years old. Damn right I was blown away. Since then, I’ve seen the movie dozens more times. It’s quite possibly the film which really instilled in me the desire to grow up and become a storyteller myself.

There Will Be Blood (Dir. Paul Thomas Anderson, 2007)
In a certain corner of the internet where I spend much of my time, this film is affectionately known as “Chere Mill Be Blood” (check out the poster font). Already I can hear some of you complain how this is supposed to be a favorite film list, not a best film list. This is one of my favorite films! I’ve seen it probably as many times as Jurassic Park and it just keeps getting better with every viewing. Tip: enjoy a bloody steak and chilled neat vodka prior to (and during) the viewing of this film and you’ll feel like you cinema itself is pumping through your veins by the end.

American Beauty (Dir. Sam Mendes, 1999)
Since winning the Best Picture Oscar, this film has taken a lot of flack over the years. In my opinion, however, I still rate it as a quality piece of cinema. It’s so theatrical and so inspiring, despite the sometimes shady subject matter. But regardless of who you are, I defy you not to identify with Lester Burham when he realizes his dream of quitting his job. This is compulsory viewing for me every couple of years or so.

The Dish (Dir. Rob Sitch, 2000)
Chances are that you’ve probably never even heard of this movie. You owe it to yourself to track it down and check it out. It’s the perfect Sunday afternoon film, by which I mean it’s fun for all the family and a real joy to watch. The film centers on the small crew of the Australian satellite dish used to broadcast the video of Armstrong landing on the moon, as well as other colorful characters in the small town. There’s nothing incredibly special about the film, but it’s honesty and sincerity translates into a truly heartfelt and emotional film.

Finding Nemo (Dir. Andrew Stanton and Lee Unkrich, 2003)
There was a time when I didn’t like this film. Sad, but true. I must have been negatively influenced by the copycat trash Dreamworks Animation shoveled out. Fortunately, after such gems as Ratatouille, Wall-E and Up, I found my way back to Pixar and now consider myself one of their biggest fans. So why Finding Nemo? Let’s just say that since becoming a Daddy the film has taken on incredible new qualities, and it will forever be compulsory Father’s Day viewing in my house.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (Dir. Steven Spielberg, 1981)
Yes, I know it’s another Spielberg list, but considering he is the Godfather of the modern blockbuster, it’s hardly surprising is it? I literally grew up on Indiana Jones. Han Who? Bond What? Marty McWhere Now? I was an Indy boy all the way. The original trilogy (let’s forget that stillborn fourth installment) are entertainment at it’s very best. Even in spite of the retro special effects – or more likely because of them – the films still possess that very real sense of magic they had when I first saw them all those years ago. And Raiders is undoubtedly the best of the bunch.

The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp (Dir. Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger, 1943)
It was my dad who introduced me to many of the classic British war-era movies, although it was ironically me who introduced him to Colonel Blimp. There is much in-depth analysis which could be written about the film (and likely has) but for me it’s another sprawling movie I like to throw on every so often and just forget about the world. And honestly, who couldn’t love a film with such jokes as “We’re having the vicar for tea.” “Oh really? I hope he’s tender.”

The Darjeeling Limited (Dir. Wes Anderson, 2007)
Criminally underrated, this is the Wes Anderson film which really struck a chord with me. While it has the director’s trademark style, it’s the polar opposite of both his previous film, The Life Aquatic, and his next, The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Truthfully, he’s never made a film this “loose” before. Yes, it’s still hyper-constructed, but it’s almost as if the guerilla-influenced filmmaking necessitated by shooting throughout India brought a much-needed touch of realism which balances nicely with Anderson’s established style.

Easy Rider (Dir. Dennis Hopper, 1969)
Aside from having my all-time favorite poster: “One man went looking for America and couldn’t find it anywhere,” this film also embodies a forgotten spirit from the hippie generation and that of the classical American dream. There are definitely some parallels with American Beauty, not in a crude sock-it-to-the-boss kind of way, but in an uplifting life-is-what-you-make it way. It’s another cracker of an inspirational gung-ho movie, the downer ended excepted. “There not afraid of you,” says George Hanson to the two bikers. “They’re afraid of what you represent: Freedom.” Fuck yeah.

In Bruges (Dir. Martin McDonagh, 2008)
This is one of those films I first discovered on late night TV and saw in several bits and pieces out of order before finally buying the DVD and watching it all over start to finish. It’s just an incredibly funny film. Colin Farrell has never been better in his pitch-perfect portrayal of an emotionally immature hitman and Brendan Gleeson more than hold his own (his phonecall scene alone is legendary.) If you haven’t seen this film and are in need of a good laugh, you owe it to yourself to see it.

So that’s it. Good films all. Writing this now makes me want to have my own mini marathon of all of them. As for the ones which missed the cut? Well, there’s certainly others which I’ve rewatched numerous times or have a special place in my heart for what other reason, but none which really could bump off any of the films listed above. I’ll be honest, it was hard to single out one Pixar movie, but I think my notes on Finding Nemo do speak for themself and I’m more and more certain that I made the right choice.

Aside from those great auteurs I listed at the start (they made great films, not necessarily favorite films) there are a handful of other filmmakers I feel deserving of a nod: Hayao Miyazaki (Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro), Joel & Ethan Coen (favorites include O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Fargo, The Big Lebowski… pretty much everything up to and including The Man Who Wasn’t There… I’ve disliked everything they made since) and Quentin Tarantino (for Jackie Brown, hands down his best movie, no question.)

Probably the director who came closest to joining this list was David Fincher who made three films I once claimed as favorites but all of which are somehow lacking something which earns them the status of true favorites. The films of his which I heartily applaud are Fight Club, Zodiac and The Social Network. But none of them are bonafide favorites.

So there you have me. That’s my list and I’m sticking to it (for now).

While Bridesmaids Is Lacking, It’s Still Much Better Than Other Mainstream Female-Driven Films

Bridesmaids (2011)
Directed by Paul Feig
Written by Kristen Wigg and Annie Mumolo
Starring Kristen Wigg, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne and Chris O’Dowd

Bridesmaids was one of those films that got a load of hype earlier in the year upon its theatrical release. “Hilarious!” screamed the reviews; “It’s The Hangover for girls!” “Finally, a female-centric comedy!” Well, all are true to an extent, but I was actually fairly disappointed. I think it was the 80s singalong at the end which really left me with a nasty taste in my mouth. (It’s been done to death! Quit it!) Up until that point, I had largely forgiven the film for its generic conventions and failure to deliver on the promise of the wealth of praise it had received.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfectly satisfactory film even though it is overlong (is it fair to blame Judd Apatow since he was a producer?) But it never lived up to my expectations. Now, I know there’s a risk with taking hype at face value, but when multiple trusted sources on both sides of the Atlantic call Bridesmaids a “groundbreaking” comedic movie, it’s hard not to buy into that to some extent.

Yes, the film does have some originality, although it borrows heavily from the bromance model which has been popular for the past several years (there’s an uncomfortable sex scene, a graphic vomit/diarrhea emergency and drunken shenanigans). While Kristen Wigg’s original spark is undeniable in certain sequences, it remains impossible to shake the feeling that this is just as assemblage of lots of things we’ve seen in over movies over the past decade but with a largely female cast.

Which inevitably forces one to consider the question: is that what’s so allegedly groundbreaking about it all? We all know that Hollywood is sexist. An overwhelming majority of writers, directors and producers are male, and aside from the once-in-a-generation stars like Meryl Streep or Angelia Jolie, most female actors are sadly cast largely in supporting roles either as the support or prize for their male co-stars. Take Katherine Heigl, for example. Is it really fair to even categorize her in the same way one might consider any number of male actors at a similar career level? In every film of hers that I’ve seen she portrays the same emotionally-needy singleton we’ve seen in every romantic comedy ever. In every film her character’s goal is always to find a man and marry him. Period. Sure there might be the unexpected responsibility of becoming a foster parent or a good-looking reporter who doesn’t believe in marriage to deal with, but in the end it’s all the same. I’m picking on Heigl because even though this is the same in virtually every single “chick flick,” Heigl has achieve so-called stardom by playing this role exclusively. Over and over again. It’s a well-worn formula we’re all tired of, yet Hollywood keeps churning them out. So yes, by that standard, I imagine some people might truly consider something like Bridesmaids to be groundbreaking: the protagonists are all female, they’re genuinely funny and not one of them pines over a man. No, just because Wigg spends a portion of the film trying to win back it’s still not a driving force of the film in the same way as the more dominant scenarios in your typical female-driven film.

Bridesmaids is not the groundbreaking film it wants to be seen as. Certainly not as a standalone film anyway. It’s an enjoyable comedy about female friends and the struggles of growing up. Even in the larger history of mainstream cinema, I hardly think Bridesmaids qualifies as groundbreaking, although it might help convince studio execs that films created by and starring women have a very real potential at the box office. Given that even such actresses as Anna Faris (once a very promising comedienne) are now relegated to unimaginative rom-coms it could well be the shot in the arm that Hollywood needs.

Ultimately, though, I don’t really rate the film. It’s fun while you watch it, but instantly forgettable. Maybe that’s what the comparisons to The Hangover meant?

Occupy Springfield

I’ve been wanting to write something about the Occupy Wall Street movement for the past couple of weeks…

Naturally, such an article brings with it a major political discussion of the like which I’d usually prefer to avoid as someone who has made the move from a socialist country (the United Kingdom) to a capitalistic country (the United States) just because there are those who are prone to taking the most innocent comment and skew it to extreme proportions. So I’ll tread carefully here. Clearly, both ideologies have their merits and their failings. That’s not something I want to go into here. Given the global economic meltdown which continues to unbalance once powerful nations and entire continents, it’s clear that neither socialism or capitalism is immune to this worldwide recession we’re currently living in. In America, the effects of the financial collapse is most noticeably being felt with catastrophic job losses. In the UK, it is represented through the ongoing pensions crisis. Nothing is perfect anywhere right now.

But the point of the Wall Street occupation is clear. It is possible to trace back the cause of this worldwide financial collapse to the greedy fat cats who own the banks, the multi-national corporations and the stock brokers. This is not class warfare in the sense of “you have more money than me; gimme,” but rather that there are extremely wealthy people in this world who continually fuck over other people for the sake of adding a few extra zeros to their bank balance.

Corporate-apologists argue that this is just business. Come on! I have nothing against capitalism. This should be self-evident from the simple fact that I regularly blog on business and technology among other topics. However, there is a point (this is it) when the rich are just getting richer and the rest of us are expected to struggle. Putting profits ahead of people to such an extent is inexcusable. Capitalism is important, entrepreneurship is important. I imagine most people in need of help turning their lives around don’t simply want a hand out, they just want to be given a chance to make something of their lives themselves. There is a terrible fear of socialism in America, although that’s mostly attributable to a mass confusion over the philosophy. (Hint: it’s an entirely different thing to communism. Fucking Google it.) The point is that even a society as large as the USA is still a society. Do we not have a responsibility to others in our society? I’m not talking about handouts and I’m not talking about charity. I’m talking about a level playing field. Generally, Britain has balanced both concerns decently well. It’s impossible to be perfect, of course, but Britain has a both free market economy and provides health insurance to everyone.

At the risk of confusing the point I’m trying to make, I’d like to throw in a seemingly random reference to The Simpsons. The show is the longest-running sit-com of all time. It might not be the cultural zeitgeist it once was, but it still generates billions of dollars in revenue for Twentieth Century Fox Television. Yesterday, the studio executives threatened to axe the show – permanently ending it – if the voice cast did not unanimously agree to accept a 45% pay cut. Yes, the six principal cast members each reportedly make $8 million a year from the show, but that is dwarfed by the amount made by the studio. An argument can certainly be made that they’re already making enough money. I would certainly agree with you. But if they are integral to the show, why should they take a pay cut just so the studio can benefit for the difference? Because they’re getting greedy and want more, more, more than those they deem less powerful that them, the studio is now poised to ruin in so that no-one can benefit. If the show does end, by the way, the studio is looking at millions more in instant revenue as they’re then able to sell the rights to a second round of syndication deals.

That’s kind of what happening to America right now.

Right now things aren’t fair. Things have got to change. The Occupy Wall Street movement has been a long time coming. Back in the 60′s and 70′s protests were fairly common in Western societies. Yet as things got worse and worse over the past several years, it appeared that contemporary generations lacked the passion of their parents and that they were willing to accept the restrictions they has become accustomed to.

Then the Arab Spring happened. Those once ruled by dictators overthrew them and showed us living comparatively comfortably in the Western World that we possessed a similar united voice powerful enough to throw off the shackles of those who have power over us. I believe that Occupy Wall Street is just the beginning. People are going to start being more vocal. The politicians on both sides have proved themselves worthless. This is not a time to exaggerate differences. This is a time to stand united, to work together and fix those problems which affect us all.

Fifty years ago it was possible for a family to own their own house and live comfortably on a single income. Today, families where both parents work are struggling to make ends meet. It’s crazy and we need to stop and recognize that.

Ladies and Gentlemen… the iPhone 5 (except it isn’t)

Imagine, if you will, the theme tune from Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey… (or don’t…)

Look kinda familiar, doesn’t it?

Unless you’ve living been under a rock, you’ll know that Apple was making a big announcement today. After an extended presentation covering everything from iOS5 to iCloud, Tim Cook (taking over CEO duties from Steve Jobs) finally turned his attention to the subject everyone was waiting for: the new iPhone.

As expected, first came the announcement of the iPhone 4S, which sent waves of angry tweets on their merry way around the globe from those desperately hoping for an iPhone 5. As it became increasingly clear that there wouldn’t be an iPhone 5 announcement, the tone turned from one of frustration to one much more defeatist in tone. Many simply opining that they wouldn’t upgrade after all.

The iPhone 4S is pretty cool though, featuring all-new technology for the 4S includes A5 chip and is seven times faster than the previous model allowing up to 14.4 mbps download speed, up to 14 hours of talking time and 6 hours of 3G browsing. They also have appeared to fix that pesky antenna issue by packing it with two separate antennas, allowing the device to switch seamlessly between them to give users a clearer signal. The built-in camera is also getting a mega upgrade to an 8 Mega Pixel camera which means it can take 1080p true HD quality image. No shit, wow. It also shoots high definition video too, which is extraordinarily cool and makes David Lynch’s Inland Empire even more redundant.

Oh, and there’s also a very cool voice featured called Siri which is being touted as an intelligent virtual assistant. You can ask it what the weather is like outside, or where the nearest gas station is and it’ll give you the correct answer, by gosh. It also does dictation for you. I’m sure there are many people who either aren’t particularly impressed or interested in Siri, but it will certainly be interesting to see how the technology develops in the future. It will likely become a big fucking deal in its own right.

Most importantly, it’s what they called a “worldphone,” meaning it’s compatible on both GSM and CDMA phone systems (meaning it would work on any cellphone carrier). Yes, it will (as speculated) be available on Sprint. No, it won’t (as rumored) be exclusive to Sprint. Existing carriers AT&T and Verizon will continue to take a hefty piece of the pie.

iPhone 4S models will be available at the following price points: 16GB $199, 32GB $299, 64GB $399. Pre-orders will begin on October 7. A two-year contract is required. Official launch is October 14th in the United State, Canada, UK, Australia, France, Germany and Japan.

Sadly, that means the rumored lower-end entry-level iPhone is a no show, but considering the benefits of having a contract with Sprint as opposed to one of those other more dominant cellphone carriers, a $199 buy-in doesn’t seem so bad.

Of course, the biggest news is that there really isn’t an iPhone 5 right now, after all. The entire presentation seemed geared to teasing the possibility however, and Cook even teased the audienced with the line “it’s the best iPhone yet… [Pregnant pause. Starts talking about about the 4S for another 20 minutes].” Nonetheless, it does seem like a big step-up from the previous model. No doubt the speculation that iPhone 5 will actually be released next summer instead of next October… who knows? Are you disappointed? Excited regardless? Finally going to get an iPhone now Sprint has it? Judging by the fact that Sprint’s website crashed for a good long while following the conclusion of the announcement (as did Apple’s), there’s a good chance that a lot of Android converts so far holding off out of hatred of AT&T and Verizon are poised to make the switch.

Why Customer Service Has More In Common With Marketing That You Think

I’ve worked in both Customer Service and Marketing in the past few years. Traditionally, the two departments have been strictly segregated. Yet, it doesn’t take a genius to realize that in order for a business to truly be successful, the two specialties could achieve a lot more if they actually worked together. This is particularly true as social media becomes more and more integrated within society as a whole. How many times have you taken to Twitter or Facebook to vent your frustration at a particular company or brand? I know I have, multiple times.

Well, the good news is that some companies are listening. And they’re even answering back and fixing the problem right then and there. JetBlue Airways, UPS and Comcast are great at this. Others… **cough** AT&T **cough-cough**… not so much. (Seriously, check out how many people are complaining about them on Twitter. Hundreds of thousands of voices grumbling into a deep, dark void).

But I digress…

So why are companies doing this? Have you seen how fast news can travel on Twitter? All it takes if for your tweet to cross the timeline of someone particularly influential and suddenly thousands of people (read: potential customers) have learned about your terrible product/service/general experience. But if you take an unhappy customer and make things right for them in full view of the public? Suddenly you’ve got a bunch of new fans who want to do your marketing for you.

You want to know who is really successful at using social media this way? Local businesses. Specifically those offering their products or everyday services. I’m talking thinks like jewellery stores, gyms, frozen yogurt places… Hell, you can even tweet some restaurants to set up a reservation. This is particularly cool because with a local business you want to feel some sense of community. This takes it to another level and not only makes individual customers feel extra special, but it actually bolsters brand loyalty. The added business for business owners is that there’s a high probability that the one customer you’ve just engaged with has lots of other local potential customers who follow them, and who are impressed with the interaction they’ve just witnesses, and who are now more likely to go out of their way to try your product/service for themselves.

The same is true for bigger companies too, but obviously on a bigger scale. They aren’t dependent on local potential customers. In theory, everyone is a potential customer. Unfortunately, even for those companies with a desire to actually help their customers, diving into providing customer support via Twitter or some other social medium platform is not natural for a lot of big companies, particularly those with an established brand or with executives older than, shall we say… 40?

A large part of the problem is they’re very worried about entering into a very public dialogue with an unhappy customer because what if they can’t turn the situation around and make them a happy customer once more? If you’re seriously worried about that, then then real problem might actually be that you have bad policies. Take some time to work closely with your customer service department. Listen to your front line representatives. Learn what problems customers repeatedly bring to them day in day out. Often, your customer support reps will be just as frustrated as the customers that they can’t adequately resolve the problem. So get rid of any bad policies you have and acknowledge that transparency and common sense are the key to a successful customer-company relationship, whether you choose to use social media within the context of that relationship of not.

Forcing yourself to do this will probably illuminate a lot of problems with the way your business treats it’s customers that you would either rather prefer didn’t exist, or honestly had no idea did. It will also force you to fix those problems that really irritate your customer service reps and which prevents them from doing their jobs as well as they’d want to. Trust me, there is nothing worse than handling an escalation call with an irate customer and diligently towing the company line, only for the customer to go over your head (and over your manager’s) and then they are given a free whatever or an exception is made in contradiction to the company policy just to make them stop calling. In a call center environment, it’s going to seriously piss off your employees. On Twitter, it’s going to have every vaguely dissatisfied customer push as hard as they can to get their own freebie. It’s not a sustainable business model.

Hence; by accepting and meeting the challenges of resolving customer service situations in public, it will force you to fix those broken policies which cause customer after customer to make a complaint. It may well be hard to make the change at first, but it will benefit you greatly in the long run. Of course, there will be some situations where despite accommodating customer wants and needs there will still be that one bad apple who insists on taking their complaint as far up the line as it will go. These are the customers you’re going to have to draw a line with. Fortunately, if you’ve stripped all bad policies from your company’s playbook, then the chances are good that the wider public will be able to recognize the obvious crank that this unhappy individual is. Don’t get into a public debate or argument with them. Offer them an ultimatum: return the product, get a full refund, whatever it is that draws a line under the matter and effectively concludes their relationship with your company. (This is if there’s clearly no way to convert them to a happy customer, remember. I’m talking about the very rare and exceptional cases; these are the people who are determined to remain unhappy in spite on honest and fair policies. In most cases they’re the ones who claim their husband/wife is a lawyer who will sue you if you don’t treat them like royalty. If you work for a tech company, chances are they’ll claim they used to be a computer programmer despite repeatedly providing you with their email address despite you asking for their domain.) In these cases, you can’t do anything except realize that it’s never entirely possible to please absolutely everyone.

This is a topic which I’m actually very interested in and would like to explore in greater detail in future blogs. So I’d like to ask you to comment below with some info on your best/worst experiences as a customer, whether there was an online/social media component or not. All comments welcome, and thank you very much in advance!

Writing Is A Constant Battle

I’m not really sure what I want to write about today, other than to lament on the struggle I imagine most writers must face to just keep on writing. Surely even those successful full-time writers who’ve achieved the desirable ability to exchange words for money occasionally run into the occasional state of apathy where it’s just hard to feel passionate about it all.

I’m speaking from personal experience, of course. I would absolutely love being able to chuck in the day job and pay my way through life by sheer virtue of my writing talents. But just how exactly am I supposed to make this happen? While the temptation can be overwhelming sometimes to dive into freelance writing full time, I highly doubt I could make the same amount of money I currently do in a secure and promising career working for someone else.

So, instead, I pursue writing outside of work as a personal interest.

But let me just dwell on the notion of quitting my job for a moment longer. Think about it. Imagine you could just quit and do whatever you wanted to do. Feels good, doesn’t it? It’s something I’ve had on my mind for a long time. I’ve never been a corporate-minded person. Even as a teenager, I had an independent streak which I still remain proud of. I’ve always had a desire to live my life my own way. That’s harder said that done. As an adult, you need a good source of cash income in order to survive. Western civilization is littered with dreams abandoned in favor of mortgage payments and the kid’s college savings.

All of that is important, of course. When I talk about setting sail on my own course, I do so with the implicit understanding in my mind that a new lifestyle on my behalf must be able to accommodate my family’s existing standard of living. I don’t want to chuck in my 9 to 5 job in favor of becoming a penniless writer. I want to work for myself – and be in control of my own life – whilst maintaining the quality of life and level of income (at least) that we already have.

I’ve looked at ways of doing this. Freelance writing is tempting, as I’ve said, but in order to get a solid start on that quest, you need to dedicate a significant amount of spare time to building up a regular client bases so that you can know with confidence that the financial rug won’t be ripped from beneath your feet the moment you hand in your notice. I know this route is not impossible, but due to other commitments, this path is no currently an option for me.

A few months ago, I bought Tim Ferriss’ book The 4-Hour Work Week. The book (and his blog) was certainly an inspiration. But my enthusiasm quickly faded into a mind-boggling mess of confusion and depression as I tried to figure out how to launch a successful business which could allow me to leave my job while simultaneously still working at my job. Tim talks about there being no excuse for excuses, but my response is that his book is targeting young bachelors who can lack any obstacles preventing them to spend a year living in Thailand while their businesses takes off. I am a family man with a mortgage. It’s going to take a different approach for me. It’s also going to take considerable time, time which I should be spending on writing and which I already aren’t.

Finding the time to write has become a real challenge in the past few years. I suppose that’s just part of growing up and accepting the myriad responsibilities which come pre-packaged with adulthood. By the end of the workday, you are exhausted and need both a physical and mental rest. It’s more important that you spend quality time with the people you love (or at least doing chores which need to get done) than locking yourself away in a quiet room and staring at a blank page.

Since becoming a father, even tricks that have worked in the past have failed. Paying for writing contests and courses in the hope of feeling compelled to write have not proved as fruitful as I’d hoped. Rather, they’re received considerable less time than should have been spent on them and have not been nearly as enjoyable as I’d hoped. Work is draining me, and realizing the rut I’m in yet recognizing no easy escape has made me depressed.

“If only I had more time,” I told myself. But where am I supposed to get this time from? I leave the house by 8 every morning and rarely get back before 6. Add in two to three hours a night of being in parenting mode, plus eating at some point, and before you know it it’s time for bed. Trust me, I need a good sleep before I do it all over again tomorrow. It rapidly becomes apparent that my lunch break is perhaps the only spare time I have exclusively to myself. Yet even after wolfing down my food as quickly as I can, those five hours a week disappear fast: to the freelance writing job I do have which needs to get completed; to calling my family back home thanks to time zone necessities; to absolutely having to get out, get some fresh air and clear my head because I’ve got another busy afternoon ahead of me…

Why am I particularly worried about this now? Well, next week I start an intense 12-month screenwriting course during which the plan is for me to write two feature-length screenplays over a period of six months each. The first is going to be a spooky ghost story (which I’m sure I’ll discuss on here in greater depth soon enough), while the second is likely to be a rewrite of an earlier screenplay I’ve never got quite right, Nightlights. After battling with a depression which has prevented any serious writing, I’m both anxious and excited to get started. But I have no idea where I’m going to find the recommended ten hours a week to dedicate to the project. It’s going to be a tough challenge, for sure.

Unfortunately, even if I do turn out two scripts decent enough for entry into legitimate contests and festivals, I’ve still done little to escape the daily grind of wake-commute-work-commute-bed. It feels like I’m juggling multiple wants poorly. I don’t have enough hands. There are not enough hours in the day.

Last week, after attempting to figure out an amendment to my current schedule, I began getting depressed again. I figured that getting up a good hour or two before my wife and boy would be a great idea. I’d have the house to myself to quietly work on my writing, and I’d be able to drive to work each morning happy in the knowledge that I’d already accomplished something for myself before the day had even properly began. Unfortunately, the experiment failed. It may work with some amendments. Somehow I’ll have to just cobble the time out of thin air and establish a more structured routine as I go on. The point is, I’m feeling more optimistic right now.

Why? Honestly, it’s all because I started reading a new book. My fiction-reading has been tumultuous over the past few years to say the least. And I love getting sucking into a new book. But for every few months where I’ve had a good stretch of reading book after book, there is an equally bleak stretch where I’ve read virtually nothing other than magazines and my pre-bed routine has consisted primarily of movies and TV instead of reading. I believe that this is due in no small part to the belief that I should read things that are good for me. I’ll read two or three mindless thrillers or adventure novels, then decide that it’s time to read some proper literature. Quite often, I find the recognized classics to be such a struggle to get through, that I abandon them – and fiction – altogether for far too long once again.

(Please note that’s not to say that I only read pulp fiction of the likes of Crichton, Hornby and Grisham. It’s true I grew up on their books, but I also list Chabon as one of my favorite authors. Last year, I am ashamed to say, I spent close to six months trying to get through Snow by Orhan Pamuk, which was just as interesting as it was a struggle).

That’s what actually happened to me over the past few weeks. I’d finished some forgettable book by Stephen White which I thoroughly enjoyed and so promptly decided to tackle some Charles Dickens next. His books are great, that’s not in dispute, but they’re hardly decent bedtime reading. So I avoided reading for a fortnight before admitting to myself that the grow-up thing to do was actually to admit to myself that I didn’t have to finish the book and I should just start on something else instead.

I’m do glad that I did. What with trying and failing to re-calibrate my daily schedule and with all these other thoughts circulating my mind – not to mention being hyper aware of my impending screenwriting commitment – I was starting to feel severely down and in desperate need of a boost. In short, I needed some inspiration. Boy, did I find it.

I am currently just five chapters into Julie Orringer’s debut novel The Invisible Bridge and I am honestly in love. It’s the best book I have read in a very long time. I don’t have much experience in writing about literature, so please pardon my attempt to do so here… What appealed to me about the book was the setting: Paris, pre-WWII. It’s an era I’ve been interested in for a while. From what I understand, the war will inevitably unfold and the Jewish protagonist will get a front row seat to the horrors of the Holocaust… But it was the early setting which piqued my interest.

So far the book is an absolute joy to read. Orringer’s style is incredibly easy to read; it flows just as easy as any cheap bestseller you’d find at an airport, yet you simultaneously recognize the genius which has constructed these words into sentences. Any aspiring fiction writer should take a gander at this book. It really is an exemplary example of construction and design made to feel incredibly organic. I’ll say it again: I’m absolutely loving it. I can feel myself smiling as I read it, due just to the pure beauty of the writing.

You may not know this about me, but one area of films that I’ve particularly come to enjoy over the past few years are some British films both made and set around the outbreak and indeed throughout the duration of World War II. Personal favorites are The Life And Death Of Colonel Blimp (Powell, 1943) and Night Train To Munich (Reed, 1940). Both films embody a sense of adventure combined with a particularly European sense of whimsy, and so far I’ve been delighted to find – unexpectedly – that The Invisible Bridge does too.

Orringer is the master (mistress?) at cleverly allowing the narrative to go off track before seducing you back into the main story so subtly and entertainingly that even as I was reading it, I could help but think of past books I’d read which had failed at such misdirection and narrative construction. Yet Orringer makes it seem effortless. There is one recent sequence which I’ve read, for example, where the lead character has trouble boarding a train due to suspicions over his passport and subsequently drops it off the platform once it is finally accepted as genuine. It’s such a small moment but is filled with colorful detail and such charm that it’s a real pleasure to read. It really is a joy.

So, in short, thanks to The Invisible Bridge, I am inspired once more.

Of course, the downside of all this is that I am once again reminded of how inadequate a writer of prose I truly am. I’ve poured so much effort into my training as a screenwriter, and the art of writing a novel is a wildly different beast. But I would love to give it a shot. I have accumulated a great many story ideas over the past decade, most of which began life as screenplay ideas. A handful of ideas remain with me which I know would make great stories. I do still tent to thing in terms of screenplays, but I have a very real desire to try my hand at a novel. Those ideas I still cling to I know would make great novels, if only I could write them.

Reading the “about the author” section in Orringer’s book reminds me once again (as if I could ever have forgotten) that the life of a successful novelist is one which I could adapt to quite easily. “Orringer lives in Brooklyn where she is currently researching her new novel,” the book says (I’m paraphrasing). Yes, I’m jealous. I don’t think I could ever manage to write something as amazing as Orringer has done with her first novel, but I think I could carve out a niche for myself as an author, somewhere between easy beach reading and proper fiction.

So maybe, here in public, I could set a challenge for myself? Maybe I should, once my year-long screenwriting commitment is complete, switch focus and try to complete a full-length novel? I’m not going to take that bet right here. Not at this instance. Not right now. But it certainly something I would love to do. Of my handful of story ideas, I have already narrowed down the two or three most likely candidates for my debut.

Oh! But it’s all about having the time isn’t it? How married people trying to support their families have managed to do it in the past confounds me. Has anyone ever managed it, actually?

I don’t want to be one of those people who’s life passes them by. Who only finds the freedom to pursue their passions once they’ve paid their kids way through university. Just the thought of it makes me sad.

Unfortunately, I do not have the answer right now. I’ve just got to keep plugging away, desperately hoping that something will happen. Maybe I’ll find the thing which I can turn into a lucrative side-business which will allow me to at least trim my weekly hours reporting to work at a job I find merely satisfactory. Maybe one of these scripts I write will do well enough at a contest that I’ll feel empowered to take the leap and switch to writing full time. It’s all perhaps. But for now the most important thing (other than supporting my family) is to continue enjoying spending as much time as possible with them (my boy is already growing up too quick) and committing as much time as possible to my writing.

Fortunately, there are plenty of thing in this life which can help give you a boost, to recharge your batteries and let you feel inspired again. There have been numerous examples of films or other pieces of art which have inspired me in my recent past. I write because I have to. I hope that one day I’ll be able to making a living doing what I love.

—

Sorry if this extended blog has become more of a rant than intended. It’s a shapeless, pointless entry, I’ll admit. But as I said when I began, “I’m not really sure what I want to write about today.” What you have just read pretty much entirely comprises my current state of mind: dreams, family, work, money, desires, life… This is certainly a case of my using my blog (or by extension the internet) as my own private therapist, but you have to do that sometimes, you know? If you’ve made it this way through this entry, then congratulations and thank you. I’m just sorry that I can’t award you some kind of prize!

My Love/Hate Relationship With Netflix

I’ve already blogged about Netflix more than anyone who doesn’t work for the company or who doesn’t own stocks probably should. Yet, seeing as how the company is back in the news again – and seeing as how I’ve already committed some musings on other websites – I figured I might as well share some thoughts here as well.

So, in no particular order…

On the division of the company
Splitting Netflix into two distinct companies is a good move: Netflix for streaming and Qwikster (shit name) for DVDs-by-mail. People have got their protesting about the price-increase out of the way already, so this dissolution into two distinct entities should only cause minor additional disgruntlement. I think it’s interesting (and telling) that it’s the streaming side of the business which gets to keep the established and recognized brand name. Hopefully a clear signal that Netflix is taking its commitment to streaming incredibly seriously.

On the selection of streaming titles
Let’s not be timid about it, regardless of all the TV shows and movies already available for streaming on Netflix, the current catalog still leaves much to be desired. The major complaint across the wide spectrum of customers is that streaming severely lacks many of the new movie releases. The reason for this is that streaming rights are expensive and complex. Also, as pay-per-view providers and decrepit brick-and-mortar stores like Blockbuster desperately grasp at straws their chosen tactic has been to create exclusive deals in order to get what cash they can from a public otherwise largely disposed to picking newer, more convenient outlets such as Netflix or Redbox. If I had it my way, much of HBO’s content would be available on streaming. None of it is currently.

On the website redesign
It sucks doesn’t it? It’s incredibly ugly and almost as useless as the iPad app version. Navigation is now horrible and since I opted out of the DVD plan it’s gotten even worse. Presumably, this devolution in functionality is something that all Netflix subscribers can look forward to once Qwikster is properly up and running and the two services are entirely divorced. My biggest grievance? The fact that titles not available on streaming cannot be “saved” to some sort of wish list similar to how you could add DVDs to your queue prior to them being released. Seriously, I found this invaluable since I’ve been using Netflix as an alternative to the cinema since becoming a father. It makes no sense to me that Netflix doesn’t have a similar function for streaming customers. Not only will it give Netflix an accurate view of what titles their subscribers wish were available for streaming, but it also allows those subscribers to be notified once a particular title does finally become available.

On the quality of the image
Personally, I’ve had no problems with the quality of the picture or sound that I’ve had from Netflix. There have inevitably been some occurrences where the stream has some issues which has ranged from irritating to unwatchable, but to be fair – given the amount of time I’ve used the service – they have been minimal and in recent months fairly non-existent. However, I have had it pointed out to me that people who’ve invested a small fortune in their home entertainment systems expect nothing less than BluRay-quality pictures and sound. If digital (and streaming) is going to ultimately replace physical copies of movies, then this is something Netflix is going to have to get better at.

On features I would like to see added down the road
I’ve talked about this before and I’ll openly admit that this is pure wishful thinking on my part – at least for now. But I would like to see more options and additions so that Netflix becomes a very real competitor to cable television. Imagine, for example, that you could subscribe to Netflix as it is today for $7.99 a month, but for an additional $15 also get unlimited access to both HBO and Showtime’s entire back catalog. And what about sport? Yes, I’m talking about live sports! There is absolutely no reason why a sports fan shouldn’t be able to buy a season ticket to live stream each of their favorite teams’ every game in the foreseeable future. Same thing with sports events (it’s the Olympics next year) or even traditional pay-per-view events like boxing. It will be interesting to see how Netflix handles these inevitable developments down the road – but I think the keys to success will be what’s already got them where they are today: keep the price as low as possible, and give consumers as much flexibility as possible. It would also be cool to see Netflix giving back some added bonuses too. YouTube provided a free live stream of two stages at Austin City Limits festival this past weekend. Why aren’t Netflix offering goodies like that? They should be.

Finally, despite complaining somewhat about Netflix’s recent changes, I would like to say that I remain a committed fan. There simply isn’t anyone else who can offer either a service or price which is competitive. Trust me, I’ve looked. I’m going to echo the sentiments of a friend who pointed out that people complaining about the recent changes in Netflix’s pricing and structure are really failing to see the bigger picture. Unfortunately, Netflix is going through a necessary rough patch right now, but I think we’re probably through the worst of it. In the long run, you’ll be able to see that it is all worth it. I hope/trust/believe in the company and hope/trust/believe that their streaming options improve drastically over the coming months.

Oh, and one final thing… If you’re acting pissy about the whole segregation of DVDs and have dumped streaming as a result? Brace yourself. It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow, but one day the DVD-by-mail model is going to be dropped entirely. I’m just warning you, because I for one have had enough of the hipster backlash. There’s already speculation that moving the DVD side of the business to a new company name is partly foreseeing the negative publicity which will inevitably occur when it does (and should) happen.

Thoughts?

The Greatest Movie Ever Sold

Director: Morgan Spurlock (2011)

If I had written this blog the morning after I finally watched POM Wonderful Presents The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (to give this documentary it’s full official title) then I would likely have written a very positive blog praising this film and Spurlock in general. Alas, I’ve had some time to think about what the film. Actually, I’ve thought about it quite a lot. I’ve kept returning to the subject in my mind over and over again. And I’m afraid the criticisms significantly outweigh the positives. Significantly.

But first, let’s rewind to Morgan Spurlock’s first film, Super Size Me, which centered around his now infamous attempt to eat nothing but McDonald’s food for an entire month. It was loud and brash, yes, but it loudly broadcast to us all just how unhealthy fast food really is (while simultaneously making us all crave a double quarter pounder with cheese more than we had in ages).

Following this crazy month-long challenge, Spurlock began setting challenges for other people in his reality TV show 30 Days. Although it’s been a while since I’ve watched it, I still believe that 30 Days is perhaps the best – and the most important – reality TV show ever made. Not that there’s really much competition, of course… But by addressing a range of prominent sociopolitical issues such as homosexuality, gun control and even Christians’ fears of Atheists and Muslims, it showed very opinionated people on both extremes of the spectrum actually facing up to that which they did not understand and usually coming away with a somewhat more open mind than at the beginning of the episode. If you haven’t ever seen it, you really should check it out.

Next up, was another feature doc Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden? For me, it was Spurlock’s first major fail. In trying to address a range of interconnected subjects from religious extremism to the war on terror, the film never really had any true throughline and the end result was a jumbled mess.

Unfortunately, the same is true of The Greatest Movie Ever Sold. Once again, Spurlock has set himself a zany challenge: to make a film about advertising and product placement in movies funded entirely by advertising and product placement in said movie. It’s an interesting concept and it does hold your interest. I’ll be honest, while watching the film I thoroughly enjoyed it as a piece of genuine entertainment. I laughed out loud multiple times. It was only later that I began picking holes in the thing. You see, it doesn’t really do anything. The lion’s share of the screen time is taken up by Spurlock’s quest to recruit advertisers, convince advertisers and ultimately please advertisers. Scattered throughout are perhaps the most randomly and carelessly assembled informative pieces which don’t truly fit together.

For example: In one sequence, he shows us how a local school district is suffering from educational budget cuts so significantly that they have to make money from hanging advertisements from the school fence which faces a major road. Okay…? Maybe it would have been better to do a full-length doc focusing on the financial troubles of the education system? In another segment he briefly interviews a handful of name directors about their opinions on product placement. It’s not exactly eye-opening and mainly just comes across as Spurlock showing off who he knows. (FYI, it’s Quentin Tarantino and Brett Ratner, which actually makes me like Morgan Spurlock significantly less).

I’ll say it again: watching the film, I barely noticed these faults. It’s only afterwards, while percolating my thoughts for this blog that I truly realized that – yeah – for a documentary it’s really lacking in some actual, y’know: substance.

Near the outset of this film, Spurlock visits some marketing specialists to help him determine who he is “as a brand.” I might be slightly off here, but I seem to recall the answer was a mixture of “mischievousness” and “thoughtfulness.” I don’t exactly disagree with this, but I now certainly put him more in the category of “showman” rather than “documentary maker.”

To be entirely honest, I’m very disappointed in Morgan Spurlock after this film. I do believe he’s done some great stuff in the past, but this film only serves to highlight the vapidness which does indeed exist in much of what he’s done. As a marketing professional in addition to being a cinephile I had hoped that I would be able to appreciate this film on multiple levels. Unfortunately – and perhaps ironically – The Greatest Movie Ever Sold is the cinematic equivalent of a Big Mac. It will give you a brief rush, but the satisfaction will quickly fade and you’ll be left disappointed at yourself for the enjoyment you found in such an ill-nourishing meal.

Spoiler: he is selling out.